One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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