Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
