Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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