Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
