All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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