Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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