so explain again why im purple
no
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
my poor anus
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
