Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
