so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
