her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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