So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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