its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
