I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
