How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
