drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
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Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Also, beer. Big fan.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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