there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
