Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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