dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
