i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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