used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
