weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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