Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
