I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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