im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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