do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
