I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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