idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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