theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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