i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
What drink are we having for lunch?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
