Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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