I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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