I just cut my nipple shaving
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize