I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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