Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
