dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
