She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
