I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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