im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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