Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
