She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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