i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
