My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
