I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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