You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I can tuck mytits in my pants
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
why is half of my head shaved?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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