where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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