no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
