Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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