Your face is a jimmy john
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
