What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
