I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
