sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
