I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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