I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
