What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
