Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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