sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
