I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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