i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize