Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
