This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
