it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
