And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
