shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
