You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
