I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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