okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
