I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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