is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
