how can u be prego again
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
