He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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